So strange how quickly your life can change
Not gonna lie, a couple of months ago I was in a really dark place. I'm not gonna sugar coat it with "but it wasn't all bad" because yes, it was all bad, atleast thats how it felt.
But anyway, at the moment things are different and I can't exactly tell why because a lot has changed. I broke up with my boyfriend in the holidays which was surprisingly easy considering it usually takes me awhile to adjust. After i ended it I realised just how much he was holding me back. I felt a lot more free talking to guy friends, going out with friends without him and most of all school - holyyy shit.
I didn't talk about it much but when I moved schools he made me feel quite bad about it, saying we wouldn't see each other nearly as much (because my school was further away and we couldn't catch the bus together anymore). When I first moved I was determined to make it work but when one half of the relationship doesn't really... try, it's definitely not as easy haha.
SO yeah not really sure where I'm going with this, finding it so hard to focus when I'm blasting All Time Low songs through my earphones hahaha
I'm a walking travestyyyyy
Things got worse and in the end we were only seeing each other about once a month - if that. Holidays came around and I was excited to see him, saw him once, enjoyed myself, and then... I don't know what happened after that. Something changed, maybe I had a breakthrough, maybe I got bored, or maybe he changed but who knows.
So it ended at the end of the holidays and things felt so much different at school. For once I felt free and I felt as though this was MY school and that I belonged, i didn't have to hold back anymore because i may have made the wrong decision or something. I know how that i did NOT make the wrong decision, this is a really good school for me and I don't have him to block that view for me.
So present day:
I enjoy being at school and one of my best friends have joint me there too, which makes things even more fun! I have finally settled in and I feel comfortable expressing myself.
I sit in the fields on sunny days, theres a cute guy in my art class and i actually enjoy PE.
Big changes
I'm not one to love changes, but I'm definitely getting used to this
So yes, generally, life is good.
For now :)
Love always xxxx
