I've been sick for the past couple of days which really sucks but i'm feeling a bit better at the moment so I can manage a blog post. I have the flu which makes me suddenly really cold to really hot in a matter of minutes and that's very similar to how my life has been recently.
One day i feel like absolute shit and the next i feel on top of the world! Not really sure why, to be honest I don't think it's normal to have such extreme mood swings but I don't see anyway out as I've been very bad at expressing my feelings recently for some strange reason.
Some highs and lows in the past few months:
- I have an extremely kind guy in my life (I would say boyfriend but we aren't going out), It's practically the same I just tend not to go out with people anymore hahaha
- I haven't seen him for a week which might not seem that long but we've seen each other at least 2-3 times a week for the past 2 months so it's not easy
- School starts soon although I'm not entirely sure when as I have to choose between 2 schools as soon as possible and they start at different times, i'm going to this new school for two days to check it out and see if I like it but i am so terrible at making decisions I doubt two days will be able to make my mind up about where I want to spend the rest of my schooling years at.
- On the one hand I really want to be at a school where there is less pressure about academic subjects and where I can express my talents but on the other I'm just way too scared to try something new again because last time It didn't go so well.
- I'm sick
- Recently I have been trying to think a bit more positively and be more open towards other people / let them in, hasn't been easy but I guess things will get better soon
- Been clean for over 2 months now
- I have a lot of holiday homework which i'm not sure if I should complete
- Hung out with Rebecca last weekend which was really really fun although I miss her already
- My friend's parents don't hate me as much anymore so i am allowed to see her occasionally
- I watched the Nelson Mandela movie today which was really good! So inspiring
- I haven't eaten very well so far in these holidays which really brings me down and I can notice it on my skin (plus my mum keeps mentioning it -__-) So for the rest of the holidays I'm going to try eat a bit better and get my skin looking relatively nice
And yeah that's about it, typing up my problems really puts them in perspective and allows me to see them a bit more clearly - i recommend it if you feel like your head is going to explode from so many thoughts from time to time!
Love always xxxxxxxxxxxx
